The Waning Gibbous
by Jo the Phoenix
Summary: Ch 4 uploaded- (HPRL) Suspicions are raised about Harry and Remus's relationship - does Snape know?
1. The Waning Gibbous

The Waning Gibbous A Harry Potter Fic by Jo the Phoenix

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter. He and all related characters belong to Joanne K. Rowling. I write only in the spirit of fan love, and make no profit off of this fanfiction.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is one of my first romance stories. If you don't like romance, see that button up in the upper left-hand corner? The one that says "Back"? Click it. Okay, most of you are still with me. Good. Now if you don't like same-sex romances …. WAIT!!! I said romance (not heavy-duty snogging or graphic sex, cause there's none of that here…) If you don't like the idea of same-sex _ROMANCES_, click that Back button. Alright, there's still a few of you left! Excellent! This is a Harry/Remus romance. It spoils OotP, so if you don't want it spoiled for you, click that Back button. Is there anyone left? If there is, I'd appreciate a review, (_constructive_ criticism is welcome).

"He's a werewolf!" A panicked shout emanated from somewhere at the Hufflepuff table. The outraged Griffindors all stood up, ready to contribute to a shouting match; the Ravenclaws were divided; half were cowering, and half were on their feet with the Griffindors; and the Slytherins simply snickered and whispered sneering conversations amongst themselves. The newly re-instated Professor Lupin simply stared at the edging on his dinner plate. Headmaster Dumbledore, as calm as ever, motioned for quiet, and for once was ignored. The Great Hall only settled down when Professor Severus Snape spoke.

"He is safe. A draught which I prepare for him on a monthly basis makes him perfectly able to teach and to safely live at Hogwart's." With a flourish of his sweeping black robe, he sat down again. The Great Hall was silent. Dumbledore took this quiet opportunity to continue on to other Start of Year business. "As always, students, remember that the Forbidden Forest is off-limits, or in other words, forbidden...."

At the completion of the Start of Year Feast, Harry rushed towards the Staff table to greet Remus Lupin. Ron and Hermione had to carry out their Head Boy and Girl responsibilities, and so, had left Harry on his own at the Griffindor table to finish his dinner. Once Harry finished picking at the food on his plate, he decided to welcome his friend back. Pushing his way through the clamouring crowds, he had just about reached the Head table, but stopped when he saw Lupin talking quietly with Snape. Inching closer, wishing that he had some of Fred and George's Extendible Ears on, he strained his hearing to listen in on their conversation. Snape looked like he'd rather be anywhere else on the planet. Lupin, too, Harry realized, but Lupin put out his hand. Harry caught the last bit of their conversation. "I wasn't sticking up for you, Remus." Snape spat. " I was merely standing up for my own ability to brew a draught." Snape said coldly, ignoring the proffered hand. He spun on his heel and stalked away. 

Lupin put his hand down, turned his head and saw Harry. A smile broke out on his face as Harry came over to say hi. Lupin clapped Harry on the shoulder and beamed down at him. "How've you been doing, Harry?" He asked quietly. Harry half-shrugged. He recalled his summer quickly. "The Dursley's were alright. They were almost half-way to treating me like a normal person. Which is a big improvement. Otherwise..." Harry shrugged again. Lupin nodded soberly. After clapping Harry on the shoulder once more, he said quietly "Come to my office later, we'll talk." Then Remus Lupin moved on to the rest of the students who had come to welcome him back. Harry watched him for a few moments, admiring the way he patiently talked with everyone. Harry didn't really want to go to Lupin's office to talk about Sirius (which he was sure the conversation was going to turn to sooner or later). But, as Harry stood there, he looked over and saw Ron and Hermione meeting with all of the new Prefects. _It's going to be a lonely year_. He thought, watching them. Sighing, he peered over at Lupin again, who was still talking to a third year Hufflepuff. Lupin suddenly looked up, straight at Harry, and smiled kindly. Harry grinned back, thinking that perhaps this year wouldn't be so lonely. He decided that he _would_ go over to Lupin's office, after all. 

"Harry!" Remus smiled as he stuck his head out of his office door. Harry smiled back at him, as he stepped into the dimly lit room, and moved to close the door behind him. 

"You can leave it open. The air is so musty in here. I don't who they had in this office last, but..." Remus shook his head, and flicked his wand, sending several books and papers flying off of the cushy green couch and onto their proper places on the bookshelf. "Please sit down. Would you like something? Tea?"

Harry, who had been gazing around the small room, fascinated, flapped his hand and shook his head. "No, thanks, Professor."

"Harry, you don't have to call me that." Remus' eyes twinkled. "It makes me feel old." He said as he poured a cup of tea for himself. Holding the steaming teapot up, he asked again. "You sure?"

"Yeah, thanks." Harry's eyes roved the room as Remus lowered himself onto the easychair closest to Harry's spot on the couch and placed his sneakered feet up on the small table in front of them. "So, er... How was your summer?" Harry asked after a few silent moments.

Remus smiled and shook his head. "Molly Weasley is going to be the death of me." He fingered one of the hardly visible stitches in his shabby robes. "She spends her spare time mending all of my robes, lecturing me on laundry and darning. She's also taught me a neat little charm to take wrinkles out." Remus flicked at his sleeve. "Obviously, I couldn't be bothered to use it." He laughed kindly. "She's a wonderful cook, and insists on me eating three times as much as anyone else. She almost takes better care of me than her own kids!" Harry looked at Remus, and noticed for the first time that he actually appeared healthy.

"You look good." Harry closed his mouth with a snap. "I mean, healthy. Er... Mrs. Weasley treats everyone well. I'm one of her adopted, too." He hurried on. 

Remus held his large mug in one hand and extended the other to Harry, as if to meet him for the first time. "So nice to make your acquaintance, Harry Weasley." It took Harry a moment, but he responded in kind, shaking Remus' hand. "And yours, Remus Weasley." He grinned broadly as Remus chuckled and slurped his tea.

"Have you talked to Ron much?" Remus asked after their comfortable silence wore out.

"No. We didn't get much time at dinner. Him and Hermione both needed to be on the Prefects' car on the train. Then after the Feast tonight, they had another meeting." Harry sighed, his fears that it was going to be another long year resurfacing. _At least this year, we'll have a proper Defense teacher._ He smiled at that thought and Remus caught it, smiling back with a raised eyebrow. Harry continued his slow examination of the interesting room from his spot on the couch, embarrassed that Remus had seen him smiling. "Nothing. Just thinking."

"Mmm-hmm." Remus blew on his tea for a bit, smirking. Another comfortable pause spun out. Harry scrutinized the bookshelves. 

Remus stared up at the ceiling, and Harry noticed for the first time the window that was there. But it wasn't a window. It looked a lot like one, but the night outside was overcast. This "window" showed the moon as bright as it would be on a clear winter's night; crisp and white. It was centered in the window, unmoving. Remus' voice startled Harry as he stared at the moon. "It's the Waning Gibbous, the phase of the moon just after Full, and just before Last Quarter. The window doesn't show the actual moon. Tonight is cloudy, and the moon is just above the eastern horizon now. This window, courtesy Headmaster Dumbledore, lets me see the phase of the moon at anytime. Very useful."

"Oh." Harry looked at the bright circle, taking in it's markings, the cratered areas and the brighter ridges and flat regions.

Remus pointed. "That dark area, there, that's _Oceanus Procellarum._ The Ocean of Storms. To it's right is _Mare Serenitatis_, the Sea of Serenity. It's funny, don't you think?"

Puzzled, Harry looked over at Remus, whose eyes were trained on the moon. He was smiling, but it was a sad smile, the light of the moon casting a steady light on his upturned face. Harry said quietly, "I don't understand, Profe-- Remus." Remus continued his study of the moon, but he chuckled a bit.

"Sorry, Harry. I was just thinking out loud. The Ocean of Storms is much larger than the Sea of Serenity. That's just the way life seems right now. There are little pockets of happiness, nearly overshadowed by sadness and strife." Remus sipped a bit more of his tea, then set the mug back in its precarious position on the arm of the chair before apologizing. "I'm sorry. I invited you here because you looked depressed, so I should be the one cheering you up, not dragging you down."

"It's okay."

"No, it isn't." Remus looked at Harry. "The last thing you need is to visit with someone who is as depressed as you are."

Harry turned away, trying to find something to look at, anything at all. He bit his lip as anger welled in him and he stared furiously up at the moon. The shining brilliance mocked the rage that he felt. There was nothing else to look at though; he could only meet the steady gaze of Remus. Finally, after a struggle, Harry exploded. 

"What makes you think that you know what I need and don't need?! Why does everyone patronize me? No one thinks that I can handle anything myself, even the simple little things of daily life! I'm so sick of being coddled and babied!! How was my summer?? It was great! The Dursley's let me brush my teeth by myself!!" Harry ranted until his throat hurt. He sank back into the couch and stared at Remus' feet on the table in front of him. Remus followed his gaze and put his feet on the floor, leaning forward to intercept Harry's line of sight. When Harry finally looked at him, Remus smiled sadly.

"I know, Harry. I know that you can handle yourself. You are a very talented wizard, and a wonderful person. I know that people tend to be overprotective of you, and I'm sorry for coming across that way. I don't mean to patronize you." Remus sat back in the easychair and picked up his now-empty tea mug.

Harry, now feeling like a complete ass, muttered an apology. Remus seemed not to notice, busying himself by pouring a new mug of tea. When Remus finally sat down, Harry said again that he was sorry. Remus heard it this time. "I understand, Harry. Believe me. Everyone has to vent once in a while, and quite frankly, I'm surprised you haven't done so sooner. I understand." This last he said so sincerely that Harry was stunned.

"How could you understand?" Harry whispered.

"Dumbledore told me (and some of your other teachers) to expect this." Remus said simply, and upon seeing Harry's expression, he hurriedly added "And no, Severus wasn't one of them." He stopped to take a sip of his tea, while Harry felt his anger rising again. "And I also understand because you weren't the only one who lost a friend this summer." Remus said quietly.

Harry felt as though he had just been plunged into a cold lake; his body felt numb and he couldn't take a breath. His anger dissipated as he realized his selfishness. Overwhelmed, he put his head in his hands and wept. He soon felt a warm hand on his shoulder. It was very comforting, and Harry leaned into it. He wrapped his arms around his middle and let the tears slide down his face. When he looked up, Remus had a pained expression on his face. "Oh, Remus, I'm sorry! I should go!" Harry leapt up off of the couch and was starting for the door when he was pulled into a tight hug.

Remus said into his ear in a tight voice, "It's alright, Harry! Let it out." Hearing the tears in Remus' voice, Harry's resolve failed, and he broke down, sobbing into Remus' warm shoulder. He cried for several minutes before he was able to talk. 

"I miss him. I hate them for doing this to me. They've taken nearly everyone that I care about!" Harry said into Remus' shoulder. Remus only patted Harry's shoulders. Harry pulled back and was saddened to see that Remus had been crying, too. His jaw clenched and he put his arms around Remus again, and they held each other, standing there for close to an hour; Harry's temple against Remus' cheekbone. He felt Remus' tears falling into his hair. When he shifted back after a while, Remus put his forehead on Harry's and they stared at each other for countless minutes. 

When their lips met, it was a relief for Harry. Troubles seemed to melt away, and all Harry did was enjoy the soft warmth that met his mouth.

A/N: What do you think of my first Harry Potter fic and my first same-sex romance fic? Should I leave this story here? Tell me what you think!! Please review, but no flames! (Constructive criticism welcomed!)


	2. The Last Quarter

The Last Quarter A Harry Potter fic by Jo the Phoenix

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to Joanne K. Rowling. I write only in the spirit of fan love, and make no profit off of this fanfiction.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is a continuation of "The Waning Gibbous". If you have not read that, you will not fully understand and enjoy this fic. I've made a slight change in the first chapter: I had put that Ron and Hermione were Head Boy and Girl, but it was pointed out that this is a sixth year fic, and so they should only be Prefects (thanks, Half-Goddess-Katia, for pointing this error out!) I did have plans that needed them to be Head Boy and Girl, but those plans didn't work out in this fic. Again, if same-sex romances squick you out, push the "Back" button now. Also note that this fic spoils OotP. Reviews and constructive criticism welcomed. (Or, rather, demanded... I'm a feedback junkie!)

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"How I'm cravin' you! ... I'll be right here if you need me ... My pain is caused by my pleasure, and my soulmate lives in your body! I can't get you out of my head!" Moon Baby, Godsmack

Remus Lupin sat up on the couch where he had spent his night, or, technically, morning, as he didn't lay down to sleep until one-thirty. He stood, and stared up at the window in his office's ceiling, wondering what in the hell he had been thinking. He stretched out his shoulders, which had gotten sore from lying on the sofa, as he muttered insults to himself. He ran his hands through his graying hair, and he swore.

He had spent the morning doing pretty much the same thing, as he mentally kicked himself for kissing Harry. What had he been thinking? A tiny voice in his head whispered that he didn't force Harry, and that Harry had seemed to enjoy it as much as he had. Remus silenced this little voice with more insults and fearful questioning. _"What am I going to do now? When will they find out? _Will_ they find out? Am I going to lose my job? What will Dumbledore say? What does Harry _really_ think?"_

As Remus thought about the prospect of losing his job, he suddenly realized that it was past nine-thirty, and that he taught his first class at ten o'clock. He was wearing the same robes as yesterday, and he needed a shower. He hurriedly scooped up paperwork and crammed it into his briefcase as he rushed out his office door, heading for his bedroom.

He fearfully looked up and down the corridors as he made his way past classrooms and the library. As he began to get his confidence back, he turned a corner and, quite literally, ran into Headmistress McGonagall.

As she beheld him, (hair sticking up on one side, unshaven, wearing yesterday's robes), she started and shook her head, no doubt thinking that he had been "getting to know" the new intern in the library. The tiny woman had desperately tried to get and hold Remus' attention at the Head table last night during the feast.

"Remus, you are fully aware that you have a class to teach in less than twenty minutes?" Professor McGonangall said, raising an eyebrow and making her statement into a question, deciding to ignore the disheveled appearance of the man that stood before her.

"Yes, Professor, I am." Remus stammered, hoping and praying that this would be the end of their chance meeting. It was, and Remus sighed in relief when she walked away. She was not a gossip, and so no one would ever know about the dash for his bedroom the first morning that he was back.

When Remus reached his room, he threw his briefcase on his bed, and tore off his robes. He stepped into the shower in the tiny bathroom, and was soon enveloped in steam. The hot water seemed to wash everything away, and as he stepped out of the rivulet of water, shaved and clean, he was humming. He breathed in the steam, and went out into his bedroom. Shivering a little in the sudden cold, dry air, he crossed to his trunk, which had not yet been unpacked, though he had been at Hogwart's for close to a week now. Remus opened it and pulled out his clothes. He peered around for his wand, and remembered that he put it in his briefcase. Using the charm that Mrs. Weasley had taught him, he successfully removed all of the wrinkles from his robe before he put it on. He slammed his briefcase shut and ran for the door.

As his hand touched the doorknob, he stopped dead. He was teaching third years this morning. He was planning on teaching them about Boggarts. Would his Boggart still be the moon? They all knew about his lycanthropy, so it wasn't a big deal if it was. But would the Boggart turn into something else? Remus stood inside his bedroom, picturing Professor McGonagall talking with the library intern, talking with Harry. Finding out. Remus pictured his class talking about him, pointing and whispering behind their hands; he envisioned eyes following him down the hallways. "_There he goes..._" He pictured the same eyes following Harry.

"Oh-no." Remus put his forehead on the cool door and thought for a few moments before coming to the obvious conclusion... stay away from the Boggart, let the students handle it. What if something happened, if the students couldn't handle it? He would be forced to step in. Perhaps the Boggart would still be the moon. Or perhaps he could come up with a good way to make McGonagall look funny for the Riddikulus charm. Maybe he could imagine her performing a Memory Modification spell on herself. Remus chuckled as he pictured Minerva pointing her wand at herself and shouting _Obliviate!_ He saw her falling down, her hair flying out of it's bun, her feet up in the air, her robes fluttering as she got up with no idea what had happened. As he laughed, he realized that he would have no problem banishing that Boggart if it did turn into Professor McGonagall. He just hoped that he wouldn't have to deal with that.

Composing himself after his moments of worry, and his laughing jag, he confidently walked to the Defense classroom. His confidence cracked as he beheld his class. Half of them were cowering as they had in the Great Hall, and the others had been whispering and snickering up until the second that he walked in. The class was Hufflepuff and Slytherin third years, and they were silent as Remus stood at the front of the classroom. Remus' mind clenched firmly on the imagined scene of Minerva yelling _Obliviate!_ and he began to teach.

As Remus slowly made his way back to his office, he realized that he was exhausted. All day, his mind had chased endless circles around Professor McGonagall and Headmaster Dumbledore, but mostly Harry. The Boggart had turned out to be no problem, the students had banished it admirably on their own, (" _But only after they had assured themselves that I wouldn't transform and eat them..._" Remus had thought bitterly as he finished the class.) His afternoon class had gone wonderfully. The seventh years were silent, already concentrating on studying for their NEWT's. All he had done was lecture about defensive blocks for disarming spells. Then they had practiced, silent except for the occasional shouts of _Expelliarmus!_ and _Defendolus! _and working hard. Now that Remus had no more classes to teach today, he decided to go back to bed. Pushing his way through the crowds, he reached his office without incident, managing to think only of resting, not of Dumbledore or of Harry. As he opened his office door, he heard someone calling him. Sighing inwardly, he turned and saw that it was Ron Weasley.

Ron hurried up to Remus' office and smiled. "Hi, Professor Lupin! How're you?" Ron unconsciously straightened the Prefect badge pinned to the front of his robes.

"I'm alright, Ron. How was your first day of class?" Remus slowly walked into his office, slinging his case onto the desk, hoping that this visit wouldn't last long. 

"Not bad," Ron said absently, peering curiously around the jam-packed room, much as Harry had the night before. "Care of Magical Creatures is always interesting... 'cept the time that Hagrid had us taking care of Flobberworms." Ron cringed. "And Divination is usually good for a laugh. But it wasn't today."

"Oh? Professor Trelawney wasn't up to her usual standard?" Remus smiled as he sat on his desk, feet swinging.

"No, no. She was as spooky as ever, but there was something off about Harry. All day." Ron was still peering around the office.

Remus' insides froze, but he maintained his calm on the exterior as he toyed with one of the many quills that littered his desk. "What do you mean, Ron?"

"He said that he hadn't slept well, and he was... I dunno... pre-occupied, I guess you could say. Did you see him at all today?" Ron asked.

"I taught third years today." Remus said. He kept secret the fact that he had indeed seen Harry for an hour and a half at the very beginning of the day without _actually _lying. A little deception never hurt anyone. "Didn't you have classes together?"

"Yeah, but I meant between classes. Hermione and I had meetings at lunch, and we didn't see him after that. Hermione's at Hagrid's right now, seeing if Harry's been there, and if Hagrid knows what might be wrong with him." Ron explained.

"I see. Well, I hope that he's alright." Remus said quietly.

"I'm sure that he'll explain what's been buggin' him. To someone, even if it's not me." Ron again fingered his shiny Prefect badge and shrugged. "I hope it's nothing."

"He's probably had a long summer. He'll come around, I'm sure." Remus laughed lightly, but his mind was reeling.

"If he does show up here... well, let him know that we're worried about him." Ron said. "I guess I'll try to wrangle him in Griffindor Tower. Maybe he's there now." Ron rose and smiled at Remus as he left.

When Remus was sure that Ron was gone, he lay back on his desk, the quill that he's been playing with crumpled in his hand. He shut his eyes, and hoped to goodness that Harry was alright.

--Fifteen hours earlier--

"I don't want to go."

"Harry, it's one in the morning."

"I know."

"What happens if someone wonders where you are?"

"Let them wonder."

"Harry..."

He sighed and looked up at Remus sitting beside him. "I don't want to go."

"I don't want you to go, either, but Harry, we both have classes in the morning. We have to think!"

"I know." He was resigned now, and it hurt Remus in some peculiar way. "I want to stay a little while longer." Harry's head was on Remus' chest now, his black hair tickling Remus' chin. 

"I want you to stay, too," Remus petted Harry's soft hair down, "but we have to think."

"What is this, Remus?"

"_This_?" Remus gave a small, uncertain shrug. "I don't know, Harry."

They were silent for a while, sitting on the soft green couch, staring up at the moon.

"I should go."

"...Alright."

Remus slowly recalled events from the evening before as he lay unmoving on his desk. He tried desperately to think of what had possessed him to kiss Harry. They had spent the evening here in his office, and they had kissed like there was no tomorrow! He was very glad that no one had walked by his office, because the door had been left open the whole time. They had wound up sitting very close together on the couch, holding hands and staring up at the moon for hours. Remus simply enjoyed the warmth of Harry next to him. 

Remus did like Harry. Did he like him like _that_? That was impossible! "_It must have been a 'caught-up-in-the-moment' thing_." Remus thought. But, as he reassured himself that it was a one-time only occurrence, something inside him wished that Harry were here right now.

Remus remained on his desk, ignoring the ink well that was digging into his ribs. He didn't move until someone knocked on his office door a few hours later. It was Harry.

"We need to talk." He said quietly, bitting at his lip.

"Yes. I know."


	3. The New Moon

DISCLAIMER: Harry Potter and all related characters and locales are the property of JK Rowling.  I make no money off of this fanfiction, and write only in the spirit of fan love.  So there.  :P

Same old warning… if same-sex romance squicks you out, click that Back button… (I'm assuming, though, that if it bugs you, you wouldn't be reading this, seeing as how this is the third chapter… um, so why am I talking to you, if you're not reading this? Never mind, then!)

The day after the waning moon was pure hell for Harry. His mind had been split into bits- one moment, he would be concentrating on what Hagrid was saying in his Care of Magical Creatures class, and the next, he would be back in Remus' office; back in Remus' embrace.  Concentration was next to impossible during Divination. While he and Ron were reading runes, Professor Trelawney sauntered by, the beads glittering and jingling on her shawl as she swayed behind them.  Sighing mistily, she read their casting and pronounced that his new relationship would start out struggling, but it would be long lasting and rewarding.  Harry started and looked at the small stone tablets before realizing that the runes she had read were Ron's, who ducked his head and blushed when Harry looked at him.

After class, Harry had left the castle and wandered aimlessly, wanting, needing to see Remus, but not quite daring to go to his office.  He walked around outside, watching the people cavorting around the lake.  The weather was unseasonably warm and so there were several sunbathers and people horsing around on the sandy shore.  Harry sat apart from the others, and tossed pebbles into the placid water until the giant squid rose to the rippled surface and shook a curled tentacle at him.

"Sorry," Harry said, and dropped the remaining pebbles back onto the sand.  The squid submerged again, and Harry walked along the water's edge back to the castle.

He slowly worked his way to the Library to begin his essay on runes for Divination class, wondering why in the world he signed up Trelawney's divination class instead of Firenze's.  He was glad, though, that Ron had also signed up for Professor Trelawney's class. Seating himself at one of the large tables, ignoring Peeves, who was busily throwing books at first years, Harry began to leaf through "Rune Reading for the Mundane".  His mind was not on predictions, though.  Ten minutes later, he found that he was still on the first page, and his parchment was still blank.  Slamming the book shut, drawing a stern look from Madame Pince, he rose and left the library.

Harry was exhausted.  Slowly walking back to Griffindor Tower, he reasoned that Ron and Hermione would be wondering where he was. As Harry climbed through the portrait hole, he saw them sitting in the large armchairs by the fireplace in the common room.

They didn't notice him, and as Harry approached them from behind, he could hear their conversation.

"I don't know, Hermione.  He seems to be under a bit of strain right now.  You saw how he looked in Hagrid's class!  I think that telling him would... I dunno... be a blow to him, or something."

"Well we have to tell him sometime.  He doesn't walk around blindfolded with his fingers stuffed in his ears, Ron!  It's best if Harry hears it from us, and the sooner, the better," Hermione said exasperatedly.

"Hear what from you?"  Harry asked as he sat down on the sofa beside them.

"Harry!  We've been looking for you! We were worried about you," Hermione said quickly.

"Hear what from you?" Harry asked, not distracted in the least.

It was a few moments before Hermione very quietly said, "Harry, you have to understand that, well, we don't want to upset you..." she trailed off.  Ron was busy scrutinizing his shoes.  Harry's eyes narrowed, and Hermione rushed on as if she hadn't stopped. "Ron and I have been seeing each other... romantically...  Do you understand?"  Ron was biting his lip now, and Hermione had been reduced to fidgeting nervously with the doily on the arm of the armchair.

Harry's mind reeled.  Closing his eyes, he struggled up from the sofa and walked quickly back to the Fat Lady's portrait.  He didn't say anything, and Ron and Hermione didn't, either.  Hurrying from Gryffindor Tower, Harry did not slow down until he reached an empty classroom.  He went to the corner farthest from the door and sat there quietly, holding his knees to his chest, trying desperately to wrap his mind around this situation.  Jumbled, confused thoughts and emotions bounced around in his head.

Will anyone find out? Ron and Hermione are together.  Why can't I be normal? Is this right or wrong? Was it real or was it only a reaction?  An impulse?  Why are Ron and Hermione together?  How could they do this to me?  They don't know what they are doing to me.  Why is Remus doing this to me?  Why am I doing this to him?  Is he in as much doubt as I am? Is it real? Is it really real?

When Harry looked up after several long moments of introspection, he realized that he was sitting in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.  Stifling a sob, Harry frantically got to his feet.  In an outburst of anger, Harry seized one of the empty creature tanks and threw it at the wall.  Glass shattered and rained down to the floor.  Rubbing his face, Harry calmed down and pulled out his wand.  Repairing the tank and the wall, he sighed and decided that he really needed to talk with Remus.

 As he was leaving the classroom, Mrs. Norris poked her flat face around the corner and peered at him.

"Get out of here," Harry said, raising his wand, but his threat was hollow.  Mrs. Norris hurried away and Harry made his way to the corridor where Lupin's office was.

"We need to talk," Harry said softly as Remus opened his door.

Running a hand through his graying hair, Remus nodded. "Yes. I know,"  he said as he opened his office door wider to let Harry in.  He resisted the urge to look out into the hallway to make sure Harry hadn't been followed, and closed the door quietly.

Harry stood facing Remus' desk, his back turned on the sofa and easy chair where he had sat last night.  Moving behind the desk, Remus distractedly wondered if Harry's positioning was intentional as he studied Harry's face. 

"Harry, I-"  Remus hesitated.  Was he going to apologize? Say that he didn't know what was going on? Confess certain feelings?

"What was that?"  Harry was still looking at the desk.  "What happened last night?"  Clearly, he was upset.  Remus could see the tears on his face, and hear them in his voice.

"I don't know," Remus laughed nervously, a habit he had desperately, yet unsuccessfully, tried to rid himself of. 

 Harry finally looked over at him and words tumbled out of Remus' mouth.  "I don't know what happened! Do you think that I have any better idea than you about what happened?  I'm just as lost as you are.  I don't know what you think; hell, I don't know what I think!  I can't answer your question because I have too damn many of my own!"  Remus halted and sat down heavily on the easy chair.  Running a hand through his hair again, he stared up at the window of the moon in his ceiling.

Harry moved over to the sofa resignedly.  Sitting down with a sigh, he leaned back and stared at the moon with Remus.  After a few silent moments, he softly inquired, "Is this right?"  When Remus met his eyes, he asked, "Is it wrong?"

"I don't know."

"Was it an impulse?  A reaction?"

"I don't know."

"I-" Harry paused, his voice trailing off.  "I really like you, Remus.  I don't know what this is, or what's going to happen, but I thought you should know that I don't think that last night was just a reaction on my part.  I just… I thought you should know that… I like you..." Harry trailed off again.

"Thank-you, Harry."  Remus gazed up at the moon, but after a few minutes, he fixed his eyes on Harry again.  "I like you, too.  And I don't know what's going to happen, either."  He stretched out a hand, which Harry took immediately.  "We have some decisions to make.  We need to keep our heads about this.  You're still my student, and I still have certain…responsibilities; are we going to be able to handle all of… this?"

Harry opened his mouth, but shut it with a snap, suddenly unsure of what to say.  After several moments of soul-searching, he nodded.  "I think we'll be able to handle it.  But…"  he stopped.

"What is it?"

"What happens if someone finds out? What will happen?"  Harry asked quietly.

"I don't know.  I'm not about to run around the halls telling everyone, though."  Remus said, surprising Harry into a laugh.

"Neither will I," he said.

Staring up at the moon again, Harry smiled.


	4. The First Quarter

The First Quarter

by Jo the Phoenix

Same old disclaimer and notes… I don't own these characters. I'm only borrowing them for a while. I'll put 'em back when I'm done.

In order to combat severe (see long wait time in between chapters,) writer's block, I've kind of changed my style a bit. This is going to be different from previous works, so now you'll know why. I've decided a bit-by-bit approach to events might work… Then again, it might not. Bear with me.

This is the _fourth _chapter of my HP/RL fic; if you haven't read the _first three_, you won't know what the heck I'm talking about (duh).

"…tell me about the Corpus Hex?"

"The Corpus Hex, Professor Lupin, is used to disable. It is cast by using a complicated incantation and a simple slash with the wand or wand hand."

"Thank-you, Hermione. Five to Griffindor. Is it one of the Unforgivables?"

"No. But that doesn't mean that it is painless."

"Good, Harry. In order to read up on this curse and its counter-hexes, please open your books to page thirty…."

"…so strangely. But I don't think we could have told him in any other way."

"No. I wish he'd talk to us. He really took it badly; he hasn't spoken to me in three weeks!"

"Yeah, well, you don't have to sleep in the same dorm room as him. It's tough putting socks on in the morning while getting the silent treatment."

"Everyone else has said that it's about time we got together. I just wish I knew why he's not okay with us…."

"…the Scarlet Cyclamen has what properties and what is its purpose in the Anastal Brew, Potter?"

"What?Errr, the Cyclamen has medicinal… no, wait…"

"Since Mr. Potter has failed to properly concoct his Anastal Brew, and obviously has not done his parchment on properties of the Cyclamen, he is well on his way to ranking another "D" in this course. Crabbe, what are the properties of…"

"… It's just been a rough start of year."

"We understand, Harry. I just want you to know that, even though some parts of our relationship has changed, Ron and I are still very much your friends. We've missed you."

"Thanks, Hermione. I appreciate that."

"…Remus! Hi! I was wondering if you'd like to maybe, sometime, if you're not busy, and I'm not busy, we could maybe go for a drink in Hogsmeade? But if you're busy, or, I don't know…."

"Thank-you, Juliette, but I really don't have time these days. I'm sure that the library is just as busy as the classroom, too."

"Oh, no. No, it's not as busy, but Madame Pince has me doing lots of re-shelving…. Are you sure? About Mme. Rosemerta's?"

"Thank-you, but I am sure. I'll talk to you some other time…"

On a note untied from the leg of a school owl: 'Remedial Defense tonight? Same place?'

"What's that, Harry?"

"Nothing, Ron. Just a crank note. Probably from Malfoy… Accendo!"

"Brilliant! Where did you learn that spell?"

"Harry, watch it! Your parchment ash is all over my breakfast!"

"Potter!" Severus Snape snarled loudly as he caught sight of Harry in the hallway of the wing of the castle that held only staff quarters. "What do you think you are doing here? I believe this section of the castle is limited to those who have attained employment here. You are not staff, so what do you think you are doing?"

He was satisfied when he saw Harry redden, but was quietly surprised when he answered in an even voice. "Someone threw a prank portkey at me… sir."

His eyes narrowed and he dismissed Harry with the wave of a long arm.

As Harry vacated the hallway, Snape peered over at the door that Harry was at. Suspicion laced his features when he saw that it was Lupin's.

"…So?"

"What?"

"Who is she?"

"Who?"

"Whoever has your thoughts these days! You've been competing with Neville for most absent-minded wizard in Hogwarts, and that's saying something. I figure it has to be a new girlfriend."

"No, Ron. There's no-one."

"Let's see. It can't be Cho… she's been moping around here lately. Who else… "

"…He's been doing quite well in _my_ classes, Severus."

"And in mine as well. I don't see how one person can do so well at one class and so dismally in another…" Remus Lupin, sitting comfortably beside Headmistress McGonagall, set his bottle of Butterbeer down on the table and leaned forward. "It's difficult to understand that though Harry exceeds most of the other teacher's expectations, he earns only 'D''s in his Potions class."

"Perhaps _I_ hold higher expectations of my students," Snape snarled. "And if you are suggesting, Remus, that I have been unfair to him, _you_ sit in on one of my classes. Then, perchance, you will see for yourself how hopelessly inept he is and why he attains only 'D''s."

Remus flushed and his jaw clenched. Snape smiled oily, a knowing look in his eyes that the Headmistress failed to notice.

"I don't think it will come to that, Severus. Now, moving onto…" McGonangall shuffled papers with a flick of her wand and caught the file of the next student up for review, "…Quillborne, Joseth..."

"I think he knows something." Harry sat down heavily on the overstuffed couch in Lupin's office.

A cold fear struck Remus and he set his mug down on the table. "Why would you say that?"

Harry sighed as he absent-mindedly took Remus's hand. "I don't know. Maybe it's nothing. _He_ thinks he knows something." Harry lowered his head into his hands, recalling the looks that his instructor had been drilling into him all day. "Potions class was murder."

"At our meeting…" Remus broke off with a sigh. "At our meeting, he gave me these looks, these deliberate _stares_." He sighed again and stood to gather the nearly-empty mugs from the table.

"I think he knows."

Remus grimaced and stared up at the moon window, his eyes tracing the fattening crescent. His reverie was interrupted by a sharp knock at the door.

Harry's eyes widened. He whispered, "I don't mean to be paranoid, but…" as he flung his Invisibility Cloak around his shoulders and flipped the hood up over his head, vanishing completely.

Remus stowed the tea mugs in a desk drawer as he pulled out his wand and opened the door with a muttered spell.

Severus Snape strode in, sneering.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Remus asked pleasantly as Snape unexpectedly sat down on the couch and put his feet up on it.

"I came to discuss this month. Where will you be staying?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Probably at Hogsmeade, in the Shack. Why?"

Snape rose and began to wander the room. "Curiosity." He stood in one corner of the office and peered around slowly. Remus smiled at Snape, though he was fully aware that Snape was snooping for someone hiding with an Invisibility Cloak.

"What are you looking for, Severus?"

Snape grinned as he whipped out his wand and yelled, "Accio Cloak!"

Remus sat stock still as his outerwear cloak, badly in need of repair, came flying out of one of the cupboards. "If you wanted to borrow my clothing, I would have gladly given it to you," he said quietly. "Are you looking for someone with an Invisibility Cloak? Is that it?"

Snape only scowled as he threw Lupin's cloak to the floor.

"And you forgot that Invisibility Cloaks cannot be summoned."

Snape pointed his finger into Remus's face. Remus compensated by stepping back with his head held high. Snape snarled, "I know what you're up to. I'm watching you."

Remus looked innocently from side to side with his eyebrows raised. "I'm not exactly sure what you're talking about, Severus. But I will keep it in mind." He gave the slight smile and nod that one gives when they are talking with a disturbed person. With that, he opened the door and dismissed Snape from his office.

Snape decided to try to regain some of his dignity by stalking angrily down the hallway towards the staircase as Remus watched from his door.

Remus closed the door quietly and turned to look about his office for Harry. "He's gone."

A grumble emanated from under the couch, and Harry's head appeared from beneath the flounce.

"How did you fit under there?"

"I don't. Can you help me?"

"Sorry!" Remus hastily lifted the couch with a flick of his wand and Harry rolled out from underneath it, cloak in hand.

He remained on the floor, looking up at Remus. "He knows," he moaned and let his head fall back onto the floor with a _clunk_.

Remus extended a hand. Harry took it and pulled himself up and into his embrace. Both froze as a slight noise was heard from the hallway. Harry hurriedly pulled the Marauder's Map from his pocket and solemnly swore that he was up to no good. They looked at the small drawing of the corridor and read "Mrs. Norris". Remus shook his head and Harry's jaw clenched.

"Do you have any Floo Powder here?" Harry surprised Remus by whispering in his ear.

Remus nodded and gestured to the hearth. After throwing in a handful, he squeezed Harry's hand in farewell as Harry stepped into the emerald flames.

"Gryffindor Tower!"

"I hate Floo Powder," he said as he stepped from the cold fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. He was very thankful that Ron and Hermione, as prefects, ran a fairly tight ship. Now that Fred and George were gone, people were tending to go to bed at more civilized hours, leaving the common room uncommonly empty. He brushed the soot off of his black school robes and wearily began to climb the spiral staircase that led to his shared dorm room.

He dropped into his four-poster and listened to Neville snoring. He fell asleep worrying about Professor Snape's knowledge.


End file.
